If a parricide is more wicked than anyone who commits homicide—because he kills not merely a man but a near relative—without doubt worse still is he who kills himself, because there is none nearer to a man than himself. 

Nobody, sir, dies willingly.

If a man will observe as he walks the streets, I believe he will find the merriest countenances in mourning coaches.

Whoever has died is freed from sin.

To desire immortality for the individual is really the same as wanting to perpetuate an error forever.

Men have written in the most convincing manner to prove that death is no evil, and this opinion has been confirmed on a thousand celebrated occasions by the weakest of men as well as by heroes. Even so I doubt whether any sensible person has ever believed it, and the trouble men take to convince others as well as themselves that they do shows clearly that it is no easy undertaking. 

The call of death is a call of love. Death can be sweet if we answer it in the affirmative, if we accept it as one of the great eternal forms of life and transformation.

Can we not live without pleasure, who cannot but with pleasure die?

We and the dead ride quick at night. 

I don’t believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I do not amuse myself by thinking of dead people.

I order that my funeral ceremonies be extremely modest, and that they take place at dawn or at the evening Ave Maria, without song or music.

Epitaph, n. An inscription on a tomb, showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.