Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.

How like to us is that filthy beast the ape.

I do not mean to call an elephant a vulgar animal, but if you think about him carefully, you will find that his nonvulgarity consists in such gentleness as is possible to elephantine nature—not in his insensitive hide, nor in his clumsy foot, but in the way he will lift his foot if a child lies in his way; and in his sensitive trunk, and still more sensitive mind, and capability of pique on points of honor.

Man is no man, but a wolf, to a stranger.

Happiness is a warm puppy.

Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.

Man and animals are really the conduit of food, the sepulcher of animals, and resting place of the dead, one causing the death of the other, making themselves the covering for the corruption of other dead bodies.

Man, when perfected, is the best of animals, but when separated from law and justice, he is the worst of all. 

The fox knows lots of tricks, the hedgehog only one—but it’s a winner.

In every man is a wild beast; most of them don’t know how to hold it back, and the majority give it full rein when they are not restrained by terror of law.

I hate the sight of monkeys; they remind me so of poor relations.

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.