Animals are such agreeable friends—they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.

There are some who, if a cat accidentally comes into the room, though they neither see it nor are told of it, will presently be in a sweat and ready to die away.

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals—except the weasel.

Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.

Man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes and pompous in the grave.

Imitate the ass in his love to his master.

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men, but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass.

Every ass thinks himself worthy to stand with the king’s horses.

Keep running after a dog, and he will never bite you.

A good dog, sir, deserves a good bone.

Man is a troublesome animal and therefore is not very manageable.

Life is no way to treat an animal.

The righteous know the needs of their animals, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel.