In peace, children inter their parents; war violates the order of nature and causes parents to inter their children.

As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.

Men are what their mothers made them.

Few sons are equal to their fathers; most fall short, all too few surpass them. 

Family! Thou art the home of all social evil, a charitable institution for comfortable women, an anchorage for house-fathers, and a hell for children.

Mother died today. Or maybe it was yesterday, I don’t know. 

To be a successful father… there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.

Families, I hate you! Shut-in homes, closed doors, jealous possessions of happiness.

In our family, as far as we are concerned, we were born and what happened before that is myth.

A family’s photograph album is generally about the extended family—and, often, is all that remains of it.

Familiarity breeds contempt—and children.

A Jewish man with parents alive is a fifteen-year-old boy, and will remain a fifteen-year-old boy till they die!

There is not much less vexation in the government of a private family than in the managing of an entire state.