To be a successful father… there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.

In peace, children inter their parents; war violates the order of nature and causes parents to inter their children.

In our family, as far as we are concerned, we were born and what happened before that is myth.

If parents would only realize how they bore their children!

Familiarity breeds contempt—and children.

A Jewish man with parents alive is a fifteen-year-old boy, and will remain a fifteen-year-old boy till they die!

Family! Thou art the home of all social evil, a charitable institution for comfortable women, an anchorage for house-fathers, and a hell for children.

He that raises a large family, does indeed, while he lives to observe them, stand…a broader mark for sorrow; but then he stands a broader mark for pleasure too. 

My father! The sun is my father, and the earth is my mother, and on her bosom I will recline.

The most socially subversive institution of our time is the one-parent family.

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.

Few sons are equal to their fathers; most fall short, all too few surpass them. 

Every adolescent has that dream every century has that dream every revolutionary has that dream, to destroy the family.