The doctor occupies a seat in the front row of the stalls of the human drama, and is constantly watching and even intervening in the tragedies, comedies, and tragicomedies which form the raw material of the literary art.

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command.

You can’t find the soul with a scalpel.

A miracle drug is any drug that will do what the label says it will do.

Be temperate in wine, in eating, girls, and sloth, or the Gout will seize you.

To be sick is to enjoy monarchal prerogatives.

Keep away from physicians. It is all probing and guessing and pretending with them. They leave it to nature to cure in her own time, but they take the credit. As well as very fat fees.

Doctors don’t know everything really. They understand matter, not spirit. And you and I live in spirit.

How many desolate creatures on the earth have learnt the simple dues of fellowship and social comfort in a hospital.

All pain is one malady with many names.

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

In the name of Hippocrates doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival.

Well now, there’s a remedy for everything except death.