I am sure of this: that if everybody was to drink their bottle a day, there would not be half the disorders in the world there are now.

A true German can’t stand the French, / Yet willingly he drinks their wines.

Thanks be to God: since my leaving drinking of wine, I do find myself much better and do mind my business better, and do spend less money, and less time lost in idle company.

The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. Probably at the next gas station.

Alcohol is the monarch of liquids.

As he brews, so shall he drink.

Drink today and drown all sorrow; / You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow.

I have sometimes thought that the laws ought not to punish those actions of evil which are committed when the senses are steeped in intoxication.

I mean, why on earth (outside sickness and hangovers) aren’t people continually drunk? I want ecstasy of the mind all the time.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated has not the art of getting drunk.

Sobriety diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites, and says yes.

Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.

Drinking with women is as unnatural as scolding with ’em.