I am sure of this: that if everybody was to drink their bottle a day, there would not be half the disorders in the world there are now.

Alcohol is the monarch of liquids.

I mean, why on earth (outside sickness and hangovers) aren’t people continually drunk? I want ecstasy of the mind all the time.

The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. Probably at the next gas station.

Under the pressure of the cares and sorrows of our mortal condition, men have at all times and in all countries, called in some physical aid to their moral consolations—wine, beer, opium, brandy, or tobacco.

Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.

Drunkenness is the very sepulcher / Of man’s wit and his discretion.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated has not the art of getting drunk.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.

Sex and drugs and rock and roll.

Whoever gulps down wine as a horse gulps down water is called a Scythian.

It is impossible to live pleasurably without living wisely, well, and justly, and impossible to live wisely, well, and justly without living pleasurably.