An old man is twice a child, and so is a drunken man.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

Abstainer, n. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

If you were to ask me if I’d ever had the bad luck to miss my daily cocktail, I’d have to say that I doubt it; where certain things are concerned, I plan ahead.

I mean, why on earth (outside sickness and hangovers) aren’t people continually drunk? I want ecstasy of the mind all the time.

Drunkenness is the very sepulcher / Of man’s wit and his discretion.

Alcohol is the monarch of liquids.

Sex and drugs and rock and roll.

Drink does not drown care but waters it, and makes it grow faster.

The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. Probably at the next gas station.

Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.

A true German can’t stand the French, / Yet willingly he drinks their wines.

Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.