That which the sober man keeps in his breast, the drunken man lets out at the lips. Astute people, when they want to ascertain a man’s true character, make him drunk.

The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. Probably at the next gas station.

I mean, why on earth (outside sickness and hangovers) aren’t people continually drunk? I want ecstasy of the mind all the time.

Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need—a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing.

Whoever gulps down wine as a horse gulps down water is called a Scythian.

Drugs, cataplasms, and whiskey are stupid substitutes for the dignity and potency of divine mind and its efficacy to heal.

Drunkenness is the very sepulcher / Of man’s wit and his discretion.

Abstainer, n. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.

Sobriety diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites, and says yes.

If you were to ask me if I’d ever had the bad luck to miss my daily cocktail, I’d have to say that I doubt it; where certain things are concerned, I plan ahead.

Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.

Drinking with women is as unnatural as scolding with ’em.