Life isn’t all beer and skittles, but beer and skittles, or something better of the same sort, must form a good part of every Englishman’s education.

Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.

There was a great deal of drinking among us but little drunkenness. We all seemed to feel that Prohibition was a personal affront and that we had a moral duty to undermine it.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated has not the art of getting drunk.

I mean, why on earth (outside sickness and hangovers) aren’t people continually drunk? I want ecstasy of the mind all the time.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

Whoever gulps down wine as a horse gulps down water is called a Scythian.

Some writers take to drink, others take to audiences.

Drinking with women is as unnatural as scolding with ’em.

It is impossible to live pleasurably without living wisely, well, and justly, and impossible to live wisely, well, and justly without living pleasurably.

The pleasure we hold in esteem for the course of our lives ought to have a greater share of our time dedicated to it; we should refuse no occasion nor omit any opportunity of drinking, and always have it in our minds.

That which the sober man keeps in his breast, the drunken man lets out at the lips. Astute people, when they want to ascertain a man’s true character, make him drunk.

I am sure of this: that if everybody was to drink their bottle a day, there would not be half the disorders in the world there are now.